People are messy, would you agree? I mean, it's all fine to love the ones that are nice but what do you do with the ones that are not so nice? What do you do when you don't have a good strategy for constructive interaction because it is so outside of workable? I think the thing that can be so humbling is how quickly the best intentions can be undone and the fact that it reflects more on the state of my own heart than other people and their quirks. It's all fine to leave people to their micromanaging but when I'm in the cross hares I confess I have no defense. It doesn't fit into any of my constructs and so my instinct to rebel is my immediate reaction. I want it to not be this way and what I am realizing is that the only thing I can control in the situation is me. I'm also realizing that I need a ton of help with this. Indeed, it is not something I can even hope to have victory in for a second apart from Jesus. I need Him to keep His hand over my mouth. I need Him to respond with grace when met with provocation. I need Him for insight and wisdom and patience in situations that are beyond stressful when they don't need to be. Honestly, this is what I'm hung up on about the whole thing. What is it about us that makes things so much more dramatic and difficult than they need to be? I don't have an answer for others and the truth is, it's their baggage. I'm trying to just do what I'm supposed to do. On the positive side, my prayer life is quite active! God help me keep You in the middle of the moments that push me to frustrated. They say you don't know what's in a sponge until you give it a good squeeze. May what comes out of me be You: patience, grace, kindness, compassion, and self-control.